Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

If this sounds familiar, my book and related workshops and groups can help children, adolescents and adults decrease negative self-talk and increase self-esteem.

The Story Behind the Book

Growing up, my sister was always the “identified patient” in my family.  She had a lot of problematic behaviors and was always in counseling. There really wasn’t much room for me to have any issues, though they were certainly there underneath the surface…  

When I was in tenth grade, I went to counseling for the first time to address some challenges within the family. After about three or four sessions,   the therapist told me she didn’t see a need for me to come back. I can still remember that feeling of desperation I had, and am so grateful that I had the courage to say the next words that came out of my mouth.

“Wait...I hate myself”.

That was the first time I had ever spoken those words out loud and probably the first time I even realized that was my truth.  By all accounts, I should have felt good about myself. I was an excellent student, had a ton of friends, and aside from a terrible haircut and bad skin, I was reasonably attractive. I was my own worst enemy. I told myself that I was boring, ugly, and just not good enough. I would often make mountains out of molehills and worry about things that were never going to happen.  I was my own bully.

My therapist helped me to see that my self-hatred was coming from the negative self-talk that was so pervasive in my head.  I learned that these thoughts were cognitive distortions, or thinking errors that cause you to feel bad. Over time, I learned to change my negative thinking and developed a much higher sense of self-worth. 

When I became a therapist myself and married a talented graphic artist, I decided to use my “in-house designer” to help me bring an idea to life.  I didn’t want anyone to have to wait until tenth grade to learn to change their negative thinking. Together with my husband, we created the book “Don’t Be Your Own Bully: A Guide to Recognizing and Defeating the Self-esteem Stealers That Live in Our Heads”.  This book takes some of the most common cognitive distortions and transforms them into relatable characters with catchy names like Fortune-Telling Fiona and Mind-Reading Max. In the book you become a bully-busting detective and learn to identify and stop these Self-Esteem Stealers or Brain Bullies that live in our heads.

Want to Take A Deeper Dive?

I run groups and workshops for various ages. If you think your child could benefit from a 4 week group to enhance his/her self-esteem, reach out here.

I also offer various workshops for parents at schools, churches, synagogues and community centers.  If you are interested in such a talk click here.